Dear Santa

 

 

 

Dear Santa,

It may be very hard for you to find us this Christmas as we are far away from the North Pole, smack dab in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, 700 miles off the coast of the United States. So I have provided global coordinates (32.3000° N, 64.7833° ) for your much anticipated visit to Bermuda.

Upon your arrival you can anticipate a warm hello, sunshine and a lovely mug of Gosling’s Rum.

As I am also an efficient sort and have been, most importantly, a very good girl this year I am forwarding to you my Christmas List. It includes items that we either cannot get on an island or things that would simply enhance life here.

 

1. Unsexy, but absolutely essential to the preservation of our clothes are mini heaters placed strategically throughout our closets to prevent mold and damp.  Keeping the A/C on 24/7  could also accomplish this but at a much higher cost. For one friend who maintains a large abode electricity bills have been known to soar to $10,000.00 a month.

 

2. How wonderful would it be to receive a morning delivery of The New York Times?  Currently it arrives a day late at a cost of $10.00 per issue. Enough said.

 

3. How about a cool car? The speed limit here is 20 mph so the engine size of vehicles is limited making fancy motoring out of the question but maybe you might have SOMETHING in your sack to satisfy? I really want a MINI COOPER but while it may cost $27,000.00 in the states it is closer to $80,000. here. Maybe you could suggest a new and improved import tax?

 

4. On that note, thank you if you had anything to do with lowering fuel prices. It used to cost $110.00 to fill our tiny car’s gas tank and now it is less than $70.oo.  Please inform the airlines of this economic fact so that perhaps flights off and on the island could become more reasonable. Or, perhaps we could lease your sleigh of reindeer as I assume their off season is just around the corner.

 

5. The coldest day ever recorded on Bermuda was 44F degrees on February 27th, 1950. That said there is little chance of any glorious change of seasons here but maybe you could work on it.  Although Palm trees are perfect, every once and awhile a little fall foliage and sparkling snow would be super.

6. Why is there not a good Chinese food restaurant here? There are 57 in the Niagara Falls area of New York alone and           they have a population which is smaller than ours: 49,219 versus 60,000.

 

7. A floating farm as big as Iowa would be nice. By the time we get our lettuces and veggies by container ship we can already see them starting to turn.

 

8. This request is from a friend and as this is the season of giving I am sharing my Santa space with her. A great chef, she would like affordable Parmesan cheese. Prices start at $25.oo here and just go up from there.

Overall, we are really quite spoiled here, so as I am sure there are others who are much more needy than me you can certainly take a pass on us…….this year !

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

Signed,

A Devoted Fan