This may sound surprising, but fun is not my only objective when I travel. So when a friend asked me what my expectations were for my upcoming journey to Japan, I told her.
“I look at this trip like I do all of my adventures and hope it will be a perspective-altering one.”
“What do you mean by “perspective altering?” she asked.
“Anything that is new, really,” I said. Unfamiliarity stokes the brain. A new language, customs, culture, fashion, and, oh, the food.
“Your body is not a temple, “ said the famous, late chef, Anthony Bourdain. “it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
I had a number of Anthony Bourdain moments while I was away which forced me to be more open minded and thus braver about food experimentation.
“We are having puffer fish tonight,” our chef announced.
“You mean blowfish?” (a poisonous species) I asked, worriedly.
“Yes,” he replied. “But I am licensed,” he explained reassuringly.
Obviously, I lived. And I must say, the meal was delicious.
The Japanese also put a whole new meaning on the concept of “fresh” when it comes to the culinary arts. One minute an abalone was sitting on the counter in front of me pulsating with life against its shell and the next minute it had been shucked, grilled and deposited on my plate.
(France is on my travel agenda next and I will now seriously consider trying the frogs’ legs I have always resisted in the past.)
I found the Japanese are unfailingly polite as well. Bowing is a lovely custom for greeting or acknowledgement of another. Upon entering my hotel (every time) six members of staff bowed. So, I, in turn, bowed back. Then they bowed again. This went on for a bit until we all started giggling. But it demonstrates an elevated act of recognizing another human, which surely beats, “Hey, how you doing?” by a country mile. I am enacting my own version of this respectful greeting with just a little nod of my head versus a full blown bow and the response has been generally positive.
Researchers from the Universities of Florida and Chicago are now taking a hard look at the value of the perspective-altering experience which differs from what historically has been the traditional definition of a successful life.
“This idea came from the question: Why do some people feel unfulfilled even when they have happy and meaningful lives?” said Dr. Erin Westgate of Florida University.
“We found that what was missing was psychological richness — experiences that challenge you, change your perspective and satisfy your curiosity.”
For Bourdain that meant not only indulging in the strange food you’d try when traveling but travel itself.
“Travel isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always comfortable. But that’s okay. The journey changes you; it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body.”
And researchers support Bourdain’s position that even “bad” experiences have the capacity to educate and enrich your life more than pleasant ones.
“Interesting experiences aren’t always pleasant experiences,” Westgate said. “But they’re the ones that help us grow and see the world in new ways. College is a good example. It’s not always fun….but it changes how you think,” Westgate said. “The same goes for experiences like living through a hurricane. You wouldn’t call it happy or even meaningful, but it shakes up your perspective.”
If you can take away one thing of value from any trip, conversation, or life experience your learning curve increases, your way of thinking broadens and your life can’t help but be enhanced.
And the benefits of perspective altering experiences apply to all parts of your life, including work, says life coach Elizabeth Perry (BetterUpBlog).
“You’re in the middle of a presentation, and you notice a peer who should be paying attention checking their phone. Why are they ignoring you? Are you not engaging enough? Do they not like you?”
Perhaps not, says Perry. But maybe that person’s inattention has nothing to do with you. Maybe he is checking on a friend in the hospital or canceling his UBER because he can’t bear to leave your fascinating lecture.
“If you just change your perspective and open your mind to every possibility, you can get on with the presentation without letting their distraction affect you,” explains Perry.
Perspective altering opportunities need not be exotic to provide rewards. A simple dinner at a friend’s home may inspire you to emulate one of their dishes or the elaborate way they set the table or their creative ability to incite interesting conversation. There are lessons, new ideas and inspirations everywhere. Once I opened my host’s refrigerator (they insisted I make myself at home) to find it stocked with the most delicious, low cal, high protein vanilla drinks. I now enjoy the very same healthy beverage every morning. A positive change to my breakfast routine which would not have been impossible without my snooping around through my friend’s frig and discovering something new.
Maybe you might consider deliberately redefining your relationship with technology. How much do we miss what is right in front of us because our phones are? I drove off to the golf course one day and realized I had left my phone plugged into the charger at home. For a few frantic minutes I considered running back to fetch it because god forbid I miss a text. Instead I played golf, enjoyed chats with good friends, and had a five mile walk in the sunshine uninterrupted by anyone or anything else. Then when I returned home I grabbed my phone and saw that I had missed absolutely NOTHING important.
“A psychologically rich life can come from something as simple as reading a great novel or hearing a haunting song,” Westgate said. “Or maybe spending a day in nature, tech free. It doesn’t have to be about dramatic events, but it can shift the way you see the world,” said Westgate. Which can only lead to a larger life.
The evidence supporting a psychologically rich life is compelling. Dr. Westgate’s academic partner, Professor Shigehiro Oishi said part of their study ran for 14 days over which time they asked study participants how happy their days were.
“And what we find is that on the day they did something new, or met somebody new, or ate something new, they felt that the day was more interesting than the day they didn’t do anything new, etc., etc.”
There was a time when I thought that those people who were always chasing something “new” were bored and maniacally trying to fill up their empty lives. Now I understand that they were the wisest of us all by seeking out this third pillar of happiness which advocates for diversity in thought and action and which ends in a newer, perhaps more productive way of seeing things.
“We’re not saying happiness and meaning aren’t important,” Westgate said. “They are. But we’re also saying don’t forget about richness. Some of the most important experiences in life are the ones that challenge us, that surprise us and that make us see the world differently.”
Burning Daylight 