Resolving To Be Better in 2025

In a word, I don’t like “suffering.” But I do like the idea of a better me. Which leads me to my New Year’s resolution – which is to do everything just a little bit better. At first blush this may sound like an unachievable, lofty goal. But I’m not aiming for perfection here. Just a wee bit of improvement. A feat which I am managing to execute quite exquisitely, by the way.  Why? Because it aligns perfectly with my life’s pursuit: pleasure.  I keenly understand that all of us will suffer at times, but suffering is not why we were put here. We are meant to enjoy life. And what better way to accomplish that than by trying to improve our lot in life in every way. To initiate just a baby bump of improvement – all across the board. The fashion equivalent of increasing your height by sporting two inch heels rather than 5 inch Jimmy Choos.

It is a doable task, I think, just being a little bit better, as a little is all I am consistently capable of. Now I do admire those who go full throttle into the new year armed with monumental aspirations to test their mettle by initiating a dry January, for instance. My version of a dry January or any of the 11 months following it is to reduce consumption, but certainly not to eliminate it altogether. That defeats the purpose of pleasure. Same goes for carb consumption. My last meal would always include a ham and cheese croissant with as many French fries as possible slathered with butter. But a slight reduction in the volume of these items is certainly on the New Year’s resolution roster.

I have initiated several other immediate goals as well. I’ve engaged a personal trainer.  My expectations are modest, in keeping with my “just a little bit better” agenda. No marathon preparation, for instance. But, did you know that we have approximately 600 muscles in the human body? My “torturer”- also known as April, has painstakingly started introducing me to each and everyone of them. And it’s an athletic adventure accomplished with a previously unknown level of sweat. I was not given to that sort of excretion in my previous “solo” workouts, but now, with “April”  I have discovered that I can indeed sweat. And that means I am working out just a little bit harder than before. And it has produced some interesting reactions.

“Ozempic”? asked a friend of mine after seeing each other a month into my new workout regime. 

“No,” I said, incredulously. “I’ve lost 3 lbs, not 30!” I added. But clearly a little extra effort does make a difference. Small though it may be.

I have also signed up for golf lessons, as I have already invested so much in the sport it seemed like a prudent idea to become as proficient as possible at the game.

“Okay,” my instructor said after I had taken only two swings. “I know what to do.” 

“WOW!” I thought.

We’re only minutes into this hour lesson and I am virtually cured.  I did consider asking if I needed to pay for the whole 60 minute lesson as “problem solved” took a mere 60 seconds. But I understand that enlightenment knows no time frame.  

“So, how often should I come back,” I asked. 

“I think you’re good,” he answered.

And by that I knew that my “little bit better” plan for this year was now firmly on me if I was to improve.  But isn’t that true for every bit of success? (I am not really any better yet, but my bad shots are now not as unattractive as before). Baby steps.

Positivity is next on the agenda.  I have always considered myself quite upbeat, but have recently learned that there is much room for improvement.  I consulted AI on the matter and found that, much like learning that we have far more muscles than I ever thought possible, we also have an unfortunate number of unpleasant thoughts everyday that could upset our mental health. Although the numbers vary, “according to the National Science Foundation, the average person has 80% negative thoughts out of their total number of thoughts per day. {And] that number can range from 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts.” That’s an impressive amount of negative thinking. Experts say try to ignore “bad” or “repetitive” thoughts by replacing them with more positive ones. That might include savoring how tasty those french fries were rather than moaning about their calories. Or, ignoring your awful boss’s unkind cuts by concentrating on the money you’ve earned on the job. I mean, everything has a price.

And that’s what most people forget when they resolve to change. According to YAHOO LIFE, “Roughly 40% of people make New Years resolutions, and some 90% of those resolutions are abandoned before the end of the year.”

Why? They don’t seem to make the change small enough, doable enough or specific enough. 

“I recommend focusing on behavior change rather than outcome,” says Clinical psychologist Nicole Siegfried.  “Instead of getting in shape via running, say to yourself, “I am going to run X number of miles per day for the next X weeks or months.”

With respect to my NY’S resolutions, I have huge expectations for my long term success in achieving them. Although I so want to sling the F-Word during a rough round of golf, I am restraining myself. Most of the time. Similarly, I am becoming more patient with my 94 year old Mom when she asks me the same question 112 times. Clearly, I am fully aware of my shortcomings -which are plentiful- so it is not taking a huge effort to behave just a little bit better. To that end, I WILL let that blowhard cut in front of me in traffic without major acts of retaliation.  I will go just a few yards longer during my daily walk. And empty the dishwasher (which I hate) as soon as the infuriating beep goes off. And maybe even just do a good deed for someone without them ever asking. The potential list of little improvements is endless. But it’s all about actively taking small steps for great gain. Or as Winston Churchill once said, “To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.” Oh, Winston. Well said. And what an interesting year ahead.